Fester, Fester, Infection . . .

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
NIV

I apparently do this.

Most of the people around me apparently do this.

Something bothers me, and I don't say. It's my attempt to try to ease the situation, I guess, or avoid conflict. It's not because I can't deal with conflict but because nothing ever seems to get solved, so it seems pointless at times. Most times I really do kinda let things roll off; but, then again, sometimes some things never really stop bothering me. . . .

How we choose to react is the difference between assisting in resolution or adding more fuel to the fire. I usually react just trying to let it go and getting over it.

But I miss some. & Sometimes I miss it in a big way.

& In a moment, when things pile up, and multiple things have my guts in a knot one way or another: money, a mouthy daughter, not knowing how I am going to pay this stack over here and then being pushed away or disrespected . . . by a few people in my life that I would do anything for---

I every now and again find myself in that place, where I feel pushed into a corner and there is nowhere to go but take it (slowly imploding) or try to deal with it best I can (sometimes exploding).

Either way, I'm wrong. Either way, it's sin. To keep it all locked inside, besides making myself sick, it's pretending everything is all right when its not.

To come back at whoever the same way they are handling me, to coin a human term is just adding another wrong trying to make a right. Nobody wins.

Anger usually isn't my issue. Just being pressed on a lot of things right now from a lot of directions and I am stressed beyond my normal ability to handle it.

There are some things I have a right to get angry about.

But it is never the right thing to do to spout off or hurt someone just because your current need, or ongoing need is not met.

God asked us to be different than that.

Today, I failed.

When I get angry, generally, after I cool off I realize it's hurt I'm really feeling. I guess for me when I can't take the hurt anymore, I get mad.

It's okay to be angry. It's not okay to sin while I am.

& When people leave it that way, . . .

Then it festers and festers and festers . . .

And each time a conflict comes up, so does all the garbage. And so does then the sin.

& It helps make caverns out of pinholes.

& It helps destroy relationships.

I failed.

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
NIV