Rules, Regiment & Relationship

Wow. I think I could write a whole book on this subject! Before you think I believe I know a lot here, though, just keep in mind, most people learn through failures . . . and failures I sometimes do feel I have down pat, ha ha.

Have you ever heard that love is a choice? Most have. I have to tell you that I feel it is and also that in part it isn't, but whatever your bend or belief there, surely you know there is such a thing as "love".

Humanly we are drawn to other people. That's not a bad thing. God made us that way. *He also made us in His image . . . . hmm-

Now maybe this guy here is attracted to that lady because he tends to like blondes, likes the way the hair looks in the sunlight . . .

Maybe this girl here is attracted to that guy over there because she thinks he's funny and he makes her laugh . . .

& Maybe these two ladies are fast friends because they both enjoy shopping, both get the same jokes and both think the same t.v. shows are stupid . . .

These are attractions and "cliques" but these are not love . . . although they have the potential to be---in one sort or another.

Now, have you ever wondered why God would even want you to come to Him? Have you ever just thought about Adam and Eve or thought about the evil the world filled up with until He decided to flood it out . . . or even about now with all the atrocities that man has been able to fathom and carry out . . . Have you ever just thought maybe it didn't make all that much sense that He, God, would become Man, Jesus, and be born on this earth to adhere to parents and grow up and be sent on a three year mission of walking and talking and "loving" the people--- including the rough ones, the smelly ones, the clueless ones and the less than desirable of society---as well as the regular Joes and even the soldiers that would eventually kill Him? Did you ever think that it makes no sense why ANYONE would ever do such a thing?

Humanly, it doesn't.

But God, Creator of all things- both heaven and earth----- longed for us, His masterpiece, created in His own image . . . to be able to be reconciled back unto Himself. He knew there would be none righteous enough . . . He knew that NO ONE man or woman would ever make the grade, the cut or be able to stand . . .

So in the one and only recorded case of "completely committed" . . . the Lord Himself became man so that we had a way back to Him . . . He loved us that much.

Think of it this way. Have you ever seen the following:

1) Couple 1: They are married, have jobs, have kids. They have a decent house and go on vacation every year. They don't talk alot. He watches ball on the weekends and she goes with her friends. While with his friends he complains about his wife and her nagging. & While she's with her friends she seeks sympathy because she views him as lazy and unmotivated and now her friends do too. & They leave it this way. & They don't really want to be there, but neither seem to ever take a step toward making anything different. He continues to bring home the bulk of their money . . . cause "that's what you do" . . . and she continues to cook and clean and do his laundry, mechanically even . . . because "that's what you do". Obligation. Rules. No one is stepping out on anyone------that's wrong. No one is leaving or stopping what they are "supposed to do" . . . but this picture is lacking one thing----one to another and overall . . . "L O V E".

2) Couple 2: Also married, have been 15 years. You don't hear him or her saying much of anything that could even be construed as mean spirited toward the other-----except in jest . . . & When that happens, they both laugh. -No glaring looks shot across this table! You see them occasionally holding hands. & Yeah, they have their rough times too, . . . but they seem broken by them and then drawn closer together . . . not like they are relinqushing anything . . . & You will notice that there seems to be an "above and beyond" kind of mentality. You might not see it everyday, but eventually will witness both kinda being selfless and doing things for that other one for seemingly no good reason, other than just because they can.
"L O V E".

Now, with this in mind, let us think about the Lord.

He created us. He formed us in our mother's wombs. He longs for us to be in relationship with Him, . . . yet He gave us free will. In essence, we can "choose" to be in relationship with Him or not. Now why would He do that?!?!?!? I mean He's GOD!!!

Simple way to look at it: If you are in a "relationship" with a lady or a man . . . do you want them there because they have to be . . . or because they "want" to be? If they do things for you, . . . do you want them doing it only because it is required or because their heart is to do those things and even to please you? That's why. It is Rules & Regiment vs. Relationship.

A relationship built only on the rules & regiment side gives only what is required and meets the minimum standards to still meet the criteria.

A relationship that is truly relationship is built on love.


& *A relationship with God simply built on head knoweldge, religion and the rules only . . . isn't really a relationship at all.

A relationship with God isn't because you "have to", . . . but because you want to.

It might mean the difference between "busying yourself" with your hand or foot in ten different ministries . . .

. . .Or simply sitting alone in a pew and reading I Corinthians one day.

*Or maybe just saying, "Here I am Lord, what do You want from me today"? . . . and waiting . . . for the answer.

So today, assessment . . . where are we? Where are the relationships in our lives? Are they even really relationships?

& More importantly, . . . where is our relationship with God? Do we have one?

Hmmm. Kinda throws a new spin unto "Love thy God with all your heart, soul and mind and love your neighbor as yourself . . . "

True relationship will have a sense of duty/obligation, but that will not be the whole thing and it will not be the driving force most of the time.

True relationship will have all the components and it will persevere when it makes no human sense at all. It will push you to your limit and will bring you back a better man, or woman . . . and it will be that one place, that one indescribable thing that you no longer ever want to live without.

& That is what a relationship with God is like.
:) God bless

Mom

Today is Mother's Day. My mom is dead of this earth. She passed on in late summer of 2006. It would be very easy to allow myself to get lost in the missing her part, . , . And kind-of forget the passing on part. SHE PASSED ON, meaning, she's with God now. She's got no more pain, no more things overwhelming her until she finally worries, no more sickness. She's whole. She's not only at peace but in peace- every moment of not her DEATH- but her continued "LIFE". Wow. True, I sure do miss her . . . Miss how when she was well she always looked younger than her age. Miss how everyone thought she was so pretty (she was), even beautiful . . . Miss how stoic she could be through some of the hardest things. Miss her pork chop gravy and her smile- and those blue eyes that could caress you or seem to look right into your soul--- and always seem to see the more you just didn't have words for. I miss her generosity and her love of music. Miss seeing her draw someone just as they were. + I sure miss her telling me "I love you". Mostly though, I just miss her. *I sat straddled on her bed the day she died here . . . I saw her last breath and could not breathe myself as I saw it escaping . . . But I also saw her eyes pop open and her hands raise as the angels came to usher her in. + I believe gettIng to witness that was more for my brother and son and I to witness than for my mom. *After all- she was already on her way! Happy Mother's Day Mom! + Thank You, Lord for letting me have her for awhile here.

Fester, Fester, Infection . . .

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
NIV

I apparently do this.

Most of the people around me apparently do this.

Something bothers me, and I don't say. It's my attempt to try to ease the situation, I guess, or avoid conflict. It's not because I can't deal with conflict but because nothing ever seems to get solved, so it seems pointless at times. Most times I really do kinda let things roll off; but, then again, sometimes some things never really stop bothering me. . . .

How we choose to react is the difference between assisting in resolution or adding more fuel to the fire. I usually react just trying to let it go and getting over it.

But I miss some. & Sometimes I miss it in a big way.

& In a moment, when things pile up, and multiple things have my guts in a knot one way or another: money, a mouthy daughter, not knowing how I am going to pay this stack over here and then being pushed away or disrespected . . . by a few people in my life that I would do anything for---

I every now and again find myself in that place, where I feel pushed into a corner and there is nowhere to go but take it (slowly imploding) or try to deal with it best I can (sometimes exploding).

Either way, I'm wrong. Either way, it's sin. To keep it all locked inside, besides making myself sick, it's pretending everything is all right when its not.

To come back at whoever the same way they are handling me, to coin a human term is just adding another wrong trying to make a right. Nobody wins.

Anger usually isn't my issue. Just being pressed on a lot of things right now from a lot of directions and I am stressed beyond my normal ability to handle it.

There are some things I have a right to get angry about.

But it is never the right thing to do to spout off or hurt someone just because your current need, or ongoing need is not met.

God asked us to be different than that.

Today, I failed.

When I get angry, generally, after I cool off I realize it's hurt I'm really feeling. I guess for me when I can't take the hurt anymore, I get mad.

It's okay to be angry. It's not okay to sin while I am.

& When people leave it that way, . . .

Then it festers and festers and festers . . .

And each time a conflict comes up, so does all the garbage. And so does then the sin.

& It helps make caverns out of pinholes.

& It helps destroy relationships.

I failed.

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.
NIV

Issues . . .

NERVES . . . Nerves . . . nerves . . .

Some people do not struggle in this area at all. I guess we all struggle with something.

I have always had issues with fears, had phobic qualities . . . often guarded . . . trust issues sometimes, . . . preferring sometimes to wall . . . instead of let go.

I was a people pleaser most of my life. Not that I did, . . . just tried.

& I now see I also tried to be a God pleaser for at least a period of time.

Know what I figured out so far?

Well, . . . God knows it--- even when we don't.

+ People? Hmm. Well, you'll never please everyone all the time, can't please most people most of the time, and rarely will please anyone particular for very long.

Oh you can try. Someday sometime that hamster wheel will either spin itself out . . . or you will.

Anyway, lately it almost feels as if I had a relapse of sorts in this particular area.

Instead of trusting things I felt I already had answers inside about . . .

Instead of trusting God . . .

I let myself get uptight about a few things. I caused a few people a little un-needed stress and caused myself a lot of it.

I had it over a house that isn't even mine.

I had it over a daughter who really needs to take a look at how she is treating me instead of the other way round.

I had it over a friend who was visiting, and when she came she didn't even visit!

& I had it today after a disagreement, worrying after that all might be lost if it wasn't fixed "right now". When in reality, maybe nothing needed fixed.

Maybe they are allowed to feel whatever they are feeling, . . . but maybe I am too, and I don't need to worry endlessly that I have to make something up.
Maybe nothing needs made up.

My issue, probably containing various sin compenents all working together and leaving me frazzled, frustrated and tired.

God forgive me.

The Word says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Philipians 4:6

Corrected . . .